Why I Chose to Become Free by Design

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” - Anaïs Nin

For a long time, I didn’t really know why I stayed.
The relationship wasn’t good. I wasn’t happy. I didn’t feel safe, seen, or supported.
But the idea of leaving? Somehow, that felt even scarier.

I think part of me believed that breaking away would make things worse. That it would be harder, more chaotic. And for a while… I was right.

The moment everything changed

It got to a point where I couldn’t do it anymore.
I knew I couldn’t keep sharing a home with him.
Something in me—maybe the part I’d silenced for too long—finally stood up and said, no more.

And even though I knew it would be hard, I didn’t realise just how hard it would get after that.

He refused to leave unless I gave him everything.
I had been the one paying the mortgage, keeping the household running.
And still, I gave him the equity in the home—just to make him go.

That decision left me with nothing financially.
No savings.
Two failing businesses.
A pile of debt.
A full-time job as a teacher.
And basically the full responsibility of raising my daughter on my own.

But something beautiful happened

I had nothing left to give anyone else…
So I finally started giving back to me.

I said yes to dinner with friends again.
I went out. I laughed. I remembered what it felt like to feel normal.
To feel alive.

One of my cousins made the comment, “We’ve got the old Rene back.”

That moment meant more than I can explain.

Because I hadn’t felt like “Rene” in a long, long time.

Why I’m here—and what this blog is about

My life didn’t magically fall into place after that.
It took work. Money stress. Late nights. Therapy. Teaching full-time while slowly rebuilding my future.

But I kept going.
I started designing a life I actually wanted to live—one choice at a time.

This blog, Free by Design, is for women like me—like you—who are done just getting by.
Who want to feel strong, clear, confident, and free… but have no idea where to begin.

It’s not always neat. Or pretty. But it’s real.
And it’s yours to design.

This is your invitation

I don’t have all the answers.
But I’ve lived the questions.
And I’ve walked the path from lost to liberated.

So if you’re standing at your own crossroads, wondering if there’s more to life than this—
There is.

And you don’t have to do it alone.

Welcome to Free by Design.

🧡 Narina (aka Rene)